Eroscillator

For quite a while I had been hearing about the Eroscillator, the only sex toy endorsed and recommended by Dr. Ruth Westheimer, sex doc extraordinnaire. The Eroscillator is ugly, it runs on AC power, and it is crazy expensive. Nonetheless, everyone seems to love it and I wondered, in spite of its apparent downsides, would I love it too?

And the answer is… a resounding YES!

Let’s start with the packaging. We all know I’m a package whore. Here I am a sad girl. The Eroscillator comes in a cardboard box that looks like it is straight out of the 70′s, and not in a good way. However, it is hygienic as all the bits and bobs come wrapped separately in plastic. Included in the box is a brief user’s manual and self pleasuring primer. A DVD with Dr. Ruth and several real life users also comes with the Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe. All Eroscillator packages have a one year guarantee. The real disappointment lies in the storage bag. It is made of a smokey white kinda hardish plastic and doesn’t really close so it doesn’t keep dust off the Eroscillator and its accompaniments, which in my place is a necessity. I wish they would include a better bag, just something simple with a drawstring, to hold everything.

The Eroscillator is approximately 8″ long without any attachments and 4 7/8″ in circumference. The electrical cord is a whopping 12′ long, so I imagine it would suit most people’s needs. In fact, I keep most of the cord wrapped in a rubber band so it doesn’t get in the way. The cord locks into the base, ensuring you don’t yank it free no matter how energetic your play becomes. The handle is made of watertight hard plastic which is easy to care for and clean. While there is some weight to it, I really don’t notice it while playing. The ribs on the handle make it easy to hold and maneuver and the controls are super simple to use. A strip of the handle, which says “Eroscillator”, slides up and down to designate one of three power levels. Even at it’s highest level, the Eroscillator is very quiet. It cannot be heard through my closed bedroom door in the quiet apartment and can hardly be heard under the covers. If I move it in a certain way it sometimes gets a bit louder, but for the most part it truly is whisper quiet.

The Eroscillator comes with a number of attachments, depending on which package you select. You can also purchase attachments separately. The attachments are PVC and phthalate-free and made of medical grade silicone elastomer or TPR covered silicone. In either case, you cannot sterilize them so I recommend sharing with fluid bonded partners only. I suppose you could put a condom over the attachments to make them shareable with others but I think you would lose so much of the sensation it wouldn’t be worthwhile. The attachments snap on and off easily, yet securely. I haven’t once lost one during play and I do not expect that to happen. Eroscillator recommends using only water-based lubricant with the attachments.

Ball and Cup:
A standard attachment that comes with all packages. One side is concave, and the other has three little raised balls. I like this attachment on my nipples and my clit. It’s a good solid choice, but not the most exciting. It is made of TPR covered silicone.

Golden Spoon:
Sort of an elongated Ball and Cup. The cup side has one little raised nub and the flat side has eight little raised nubs. This one is nice on my labia but it doesn’t do all that much for my clit. I can get off with it but has less wow factor than some of the other attachments. It is made of TPR covered silicone.

Grapes and Cockscomb:
Cockscomb. Hehe. Ok, had to get that out of the way. My apologies. One side has 10 raised “grapes” that surround my clit in delightful texture. The other is a flat ridge that feels great rubbing against the side of my clit. The soft texture of the Grapes make it one of my favorite attachments. It is made of TPR covered silicone.

Seven Pearls of the Orient:
I was really looking forward to this attachment as it is the only one for anal use. However, it is on the small side for me both anally and vaginally. As you may have guessed, it is made up of seven pearls meant to be internally stimulating. It provides pinpoint stimulation to my clit which I find to be almost a bit much, depending on my mood. Be sure to seriously clean this attachment before going from anal to vaginal penetration. It is made of TPR covered silicone.

French Legionnaire’s Moustache:
I thought I would hate this one and it is ridiculous looking, but I love it. It is ideal for teasing my nipples before going to work on my clit. In fact I’d like a separate Eroscillator so I can use the Moustache on my nipples and my clit at the same time. I guess that means I would need three Eroscillators…and three hands. It is made of TPR covered silicone and nylon filaments.

Ultra Soft Finger Tip:
Like most of the free world, this attachment is my absolute fave. It looks and feels like a marshmallow and its squishiness is so soft and oh so happy against my clit. It’s like a tiny pillow for my clit, but it does not put my clit to sleep. Well, it does, eventually. It is slick and smooth on my labia and makes my vagina smile. It is high-tech Swiss made medical elastomer.

By now you must be asking what makes the Eroscillator so special? As you can see below, most sex toys vibrate, but the Eroscillator’s motor oscillates so each attachment is meant to feel like a finger moving back and forth but insanely fast. It feels different from vibrations, deeper than the deepest, thuddiest vibes, and more intense. It quite difficult to describe beyond that. My eyes immediately roll back in my head when an attachment touches my clit and it feels just amazing oscillating against my g-spot. I can orgasm with this baby, almost faster than I can say Eroscillator or I can stretch it out and cum slowly. This has been such a challenging review to write because I just want to stop and play with my Eroscillator again. It’s just powerfully awesome.

I was lucky enough to receive the Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe Soft Finger Combo, which has 30% more power than the regular Eroscillator 2. Not having used the Eroscillator 2, I cannot speak to the actual difference, but I tend to be of the mindset that more power is better.

I usually don’t discuss toy price in my reviews. Prices are not static and I am always doing my best to find sales and good deals for my readers. Plus I hope my reviews will be helpful to others long after they are written when prices may have changed. However, considering the Eroscillator’s high price tag, cost is worth a mention. Ranging from $139.95 to $254.95, the Eroscillator will take a hefty chunk of change out of your toy budget, but look at what you’re getting. A sex toy that will never run out of juice, multiple attachments to create different sensations, and a one year guarantee. When I consider the surety and quality of orgasms available to me with this toy, it is so worth it. If you are looking to buy just one sex toy, this is the one I would buy. If you already have a collection and are looking to add to it, I think you would be hard pressed to beat the Eroscillator.

The biggest issue I have is that I just want to play with my Eroscillator and nothing else. When it is time to play with other review toys I have to really talk myself into it. Fortunately, I can talk myself into most anything when it comes to sex toys. Please keep in mind it may very well kill your desire for any other sex toy you own.

Eroscillator Pros:
• Oscillations
• Powerful
• Quiet
• Attachments
• Super long cord

Eroscillator Cons:
• May ruin you for other toys
• Crap storage bag

The Eroscillator looks like a cross between C3PO and my Sonicare toothbrush. It really is not attractive and I prefer my sex toys cute and fun. I also like them to be rechargeable and the Eroscillator plugs into wall. Not the greatest option for travel. It’s expensive as hell, especially for a package with the Ultra Soft Finger Tip (a must have in my opinion). Still, I love my Eroscillator to pieces. I haven’t quite set up a shrine and started praying to it, but I’m thinking about it…

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