Adam & Eve Handmaiden Dong

I have been on something of a dildo kick lately, not exactly sure why. I suppose I have just been in a dildo state of mind. I decided to check out the Adam & Eve Handmaiden Dong from FunWares.

The Handmaiden Dong (I really hate the word “dong” but that’s what this dildo is called, so I guess I’ll have to use it. Understand, I am doing so under protest.) is made of 100% solid, platinum-cured, medical-grade silicone. It is light pink in color, so it strikes me as more of a girly girl dildo. It does not come in other colors so if you want the Handmaiden, you had better like pink. It is approximately 7 1/4″ long with 5″ being insertable, and a little more than 1 1/2″ in diameter at its widest point.

This high quality silicone is ideal for sex toys as it is latex and phthalate-free, non-porous, hypoallergenic, and body-safe. Silicone is also easy to care for and a cinch to clean. As the Handmaiden Dong has no electrical or moving parts it is totally waterproof. You can sterilize it by boiling it for 3-5 minutes, washing it in the top rack of your dishwasher (without any soap), or wiping it down with a 10% bleach solution (be sure to wash well after using bleach on any sex toys). You can also simply use anti-bacterial soap and water for a quick and easy clean. However, if you are sharing this dildo between non fluid-bonded partners or swapping from anal to vaginal use, be sure to use a method of sterilization.

Unlike most silicone, the Handmaiden Dong is not a lint magnet, which I greatly appreciate. I love silicone but I do hate is typical lint magnet properties. I can even wipe this dildo down with a towel after washing it and it doesn’t get the fuzzies. The silicone does have a a good amount of drag, however, thus it is best to use a decent amount of water-based lubricant. As the Handmaiden Dong is made from high quality pure silicone it may be possible to use it with certain pure silicone-based lubricants and hybrids, but I prefer to err on the side of caution. The packaging also recommends using water-based lube.

The Handmaiden Dong is like a modern, chic, realistic-ish dildo. Its shaft has a very slight curve, nothing that would hit my g-spot. The end has a rounded point and the “head” has three raised speed bumps (that’s what I call them anyway). The shaft thins out sightly as it comes toward the base. At the bottom of the base is a lump of silicone that reminds me of a sleek, silicone ball sack. Underneath this ball sack is a handle that allows me to hold the dildo easily and comfortably The handle is my favorite part of the Handmaiden Dong. I can slide it in between my first and second fingers and have a firm hold on the dildo for smooth stroking. The handle makes stroking easier and keeps any lube and bodily fluids from drenching my hand. This is what I was hoping for and it works perfectly.

There is a seam along the front and back of the dildo that I feel very easily with my fingers but I don’t notice this when the Handmaiden is inside me. There is also a raised Adam & Eve logo, a female silhouette, on the bottom of the handle. It is fine that it’s raised as this part of the dildo obviously does not go inside your body

Another handy dandy thing about the handle is that it makes this Handmaiden Dong safe for anal use. With the extreme and sudden curve, the ball sack, and the handle, it is very unlikely this dildo will slip up inside your butt. Of course, you want to be sure to use caution and play gently as always when sticking things up your butt. Remember to use lots of lubricant and go slowly.

The Handmaiden Dong is made in China by Topco, a California-based sex toy company. However, the package says, “Australian innovation…” So, I’m confused. Was it designed in Australia rather than at the company’s headquarters in Southern California? The other odd thing on the packaging is it says, “The Original”. I’m wondering, are there a hunch of knockoff Handmaidens out there? I mean, it’s a cool dildo, but I don’t know that it’s so awesome people are doing knockoffs.

The packaging for this dildo consists of a see-through plastic sleeve that wraps around a clamshell with a clever closure. Inside the clamshell sits the Handmaiden Dong with it’s grey satiny storage pouch. I just L O V E it when manufacturers include storage pouches with their toys. I think it is so lovely and considerate. This packaging does take up a fair amount of room and is not at all discreet. You can see the dildo right there, sitting in it’s little clamshell and it looks exactly like what it is, a sex toy. Therefore, the storage pouch is just a bit of extra awesomeness included with this dildo. Also, thanks to the Handmaiden Dong’s packaging I now know how to say silicone dildo in six languages other than English. Rock on!

I prefer my sex toys to be modern, stylized, cute, interesting, odd…pretty much anything but realistic. I don’t need to pretend it is a real penis. If i want to have sex with a real penis, I will. The Handmaiden Dong certainly fits the bill while still giving me access to a dildo with a ball sack. This stylized ball sack presses up against my labia and adds nicely to the stimulation when I’m stroking or just holding it inside me. The handle works so well and really makes this dildo a pleasure to use. It is more of a flick of the wrist than using my entire forearms. I think this dildo would be good for people with weaker upper bodies or those lazy masturbators like me.

Handmaiden Dildo Pros:
• Silicone
• Handle
• Silicone ball sack
• Storage pouch

Handmaiden Dildo Cons:
• Might be too short for some

Usually I like my dildos in glass but the Handmaiden Dong really tales the cake. (Mmmmm, cake.) It is made of perfectly body-safe silicone that is not lint magnet-y, has a lovely silicone ball sack, a rockin’ handle, and comes with a useful storage pouch. Thanks to FunWares, it comes at a very reasonable price and ships out the same day you order. FunWares also ships very discreetly so you can feel secure in ordering your sex toys without anyone being the wiser.

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